Problem is with you, not others: Blaming yourself is better than blaming others!

Problem is with you, not others: Blaming yourself is better than blaming others!

A close friend of mine met me on April 5^th, 2018 which is equivalent to 20^th of Rajjab-ul-Asab, 1439.

Maybe he was tensed for some reason and because of the connection I have with him, I figured. Out of curiosity coupled with concern, I asked him, “What the matter was? What had taken over his charming face?” (not so charming actually)

He asked me in a mild tone “Do you know what it is?”

I replied being puzzled, “Thursday!!”

With a heavy voice, he said angrily, “not the day you fool, what is special about today?”

Now, I was completely out of the game, I didn’t know anything above the day though my memory was quite good but hardly anything came to my mind and I was sure he was not asking for some historical event or something alike. It had to be something related to him which made him so numb.

Out of curiosity, I asked him, “Is it your birthday?”

In a reliving tone, he said, “At last you got it.”

I was not happy still I wished him first and then just to check the credibility of my memory I asked him in fear “Isn’t your Birthday on **^th of November?”

He replied, “Yes” and added “Today is my birthday according to the Hijri Calendar and I am angry because no one remembers it.”

I was happy now (my memory is good and kicking as always!!)

Further, I got anxious and asked him, “How would anyone know about it? You have never told us about the other date!”

He replied, in an angry tone, “So what? You all should have known, at least my family should have!”

And now I got what had actually taken him down. Still, I asked to confirm “haven’t 

your family members wished you yet?”

In a rude tone, he replied, “No! They don’t care about me” and added curtly, “No one does.”

Unfortunately, I couldn’t stop laughing.

And fortunately, he didn’t punch me in the face and asked the reason for my laughter.

I tried explaining him about us first that “We aren’t almighty to know your birthday unless you tell us yourself and if it was to check whether someone cares about you or not, try telling them in advance and I am sure they will remember if they care!” I further added, “I knew your Birthday according to the Gregorian calendar, didn’t I?”

He nodded his head and said, “Yeah but my mom dad?”

I was speech bound for a moment but I knew his family very well. I was astonished how come they do not remember his birthday.

After thinking about it a little I told him upfront, “Buddy the problem is not with them I can assure you, look for yourself I am sure you are missing on something, you are being ignorant about something.” Curiously I told him, “You might not be giving them appropriate time, maybe they didn’t expect you at home so they might not have prepared anything special as per your expectation”

After he heard what I had to say, he seemed into the blue.

I was waiting for him to say something and finally, after a minute or two, he opened his mouth.

He said, “Bro! Even I hadn’t expected me to be at home.”

I was bamboozled and I asked, “What??” 

He explained to me that he had other plans for today but as they got cancelled in the first place, it made him think about his family not caring about him. Had it all gone according to the plan he would not have thought about his family not preparing anything for him”

Honestly, those words of him got over my nerve and I couldn’t control addressing him as an A**hole!

I asked him, “Stop blaming other for not caring about you and start thinking why should they care about you in the first place? Do you care about them? Are you doing it the right way? Are you giving them time? Are you giving them required space in your life?”

The event made me introspect and I had to note it somewhere which made me write that note in the picture which I believe is a great message to those who can understand it.

Author - Mohammed Vohra 

Editor - Ibrahim Vaid

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